Cerebral Palsy
Inside Out - More Surgery...

Inside Out – More Surgery…

My skin is on inside out.  I want to throw up.  This won’t be clever, funny or well written.  This is the truth, as I am feeling it – right now. Dane goes in for surgery tomorrow at 11:30AM (if all goes according to plan).  I am sitting at my computer typing this, in the...
Hope

Hope

More surgery.  Words you come to love and hate.  No one wants to put their child through hospital stays, anesthesia, catheterization…  No one wants their baby poked, pricked, prodded and cut. But there it is, that magic word – hope.   It floats around the recovery room like a flock of butterflies, refusing to be wrangled...
Everybody Poops?

Everybody Poops?

So, there we are, in an upscale restaurant, having a drink, watching my hubby drum away, when suddenly, yep – that smell.  We all know that smell (parent or not).  Dane pooped. Dane’s six. He has Cerebral Palsy and, at this point in time, still uses a diaper.  As his Mom I do hope he...
Remember Me

Remember Me

How will my sons remember me?  Will they remember when I was at home, at their school, on stage, a certain role in a movie or maybe screaming like a crazed lunatic at someone that (I felt) might do them harm? I know how I remember my mom.  And no, she’s not gone.  She’s alive...
Much More... with Friends.

Much More… with Friends.

That’s me, pretending to know what I’m doing.  I didn’t.  I never wanted to get married, much less have kids, and then two kids… both with special needs, but there I was. Bottle in hand (theirs AND mine) I managed to pull it together, just enough, every single day to get through colic, cerebral palsy,...
He's in a What???

He’s in a What???

So I guess I got comfy.  Dane was 3, then 4, then 5… wow – now 6!  He grew, and he grew, and he grew.  Pound after pound, inch after inch, he had suddenly become this hulking, lanky mass of childhood, teetering precariously at becoming half my size. But I still saw him for the...
Expectations...

Expectations…

We were at Kmart.  Dane was maybe four (but was large enough to appear seven).  ‘Grandy’ pushed Dane, in his adaptive stroller, over to the ‘Blue Icy’ station and was indulging the boys in a lovely little treat when an older gentleman decided to give his two cents. “That boy’s too big for a stroller. ...
Firsts

Firsts

I put something away today.  At first I was just picking up Dane’s room, as usual.  Socks in the hamper, toys to their boxes, surgical tape back up on the shelf, antibiotic in the cabinet, gauze pads stacked neatly in place… What was I doing?  Dane’s wounds were healed.  Nothing but a simple scar remained. ...
No Apology

No Apology

I will not apologize for being happy.  No – I – won’t.  I read through my Facebook feed and see snarky comments from people who seem somehow offended by the happiness of others, doubting their sincerity, and chastising the cheerful for our seemingly endless fits of personal delight. Well, truth is, I’m not ALWAYS deliriously happy.  Please!...
Too Soon

Too Soon

I’ve been putting it off.  He was asked many times.  Shame on me.  Invitations to parties had often popped up in his take-home-folder from school.  One was for a skating party… Ugh.  Another was a drop off.  No way.  One brave mother was requesting a sleepover.  No chance.  But this invite was different. I’d been...
The Naked Truth

The Naked Truth

I was naked – this time in the biblical sense.  I had just put my son down for a nap while staying at my in-laws, my three year old with cerebral palsy, incapable of sitting up and hardly able to roll over on his own.  I surrounded him with several, huge, overstuffed down pillows on...
My Babies Ride the Short Bus

My Babies Ride the Short Bus

My babies ride the short bus, yep – the short bus.  Like myself, you may have snickered when you heard those words as a child.  I remember having visions of seeing spastic kids, wearing oversized helmets, bashing their heads into the windows, while hearing random moans and screams seeping out from inside their brightly colored,...