Adoption
I Wish

I Wish

I wish I could have told you I was worth it. I wish I could have told you I would try to change the world. I wish there was a ‘me’ moment that you would not regret And knowing I was out there wouldn’t leave you feeling cold. I wish that I had had a...
I Love My Ma!

I Love My Ma!

Be sure that I love my Mama. I am searching for my birth family NOT because I am lacking anything in regards to the family who chose to raise me, but because I choose to seek the total truth. That is who I am. You can agree or disagree, but that is who I am....
Inside Out

Inside Out

I haven’t written in awhile – well true stuff anyway. I actually wrote an entire play in three days about what I think meeting my birth mom will be like but that’s another story… There’s a reason for that. I haven’t been myself lately. At least I don’t think so. I am waiting on confirmation...
Family

Family

“…let your mom and sister know that they are family to us now too. If they want to come “home” with you, I want them to know they are welcome. Them being your family connects them to us as surely as your DNA does. It’s not a game of tug of war to see which...
Ready, Set, Search!

Ready, Set, Search!

I almost killed my husband a few nights ago. Venom spewed from my lips as I hissed that I hated him. Jason stared at me in complete disbelief. Seething, I stared right back. So much has happened in just a couple of weeks. I am an emotional mess who should apologize to my family and...
I'm Coming Out

I’m Coming Out

I came out kicking. I know I did, because I was there. Sure I was a newborn and said to have no memory of the experience, but I’m sure of it – and since I said so, that’s that. I came out and was immediately handed over to another person, a person I wasn’t related to,...
Lucky

Lucky

I am lucky because my son, Dane, was born with cerebral palsy, yet he is healthy and, without a doubt, the person I understand, and probably understands me, the most. I am lucky because my son Jett is on the autism spectrum, which likely had a hand in making him the most creative person I...
Touching Strangers

Touching Strangers

I touch random strangers.  I’ll reach right out and literally grab them.  I never even stop to consider whether or not they might find that weird or inappropriate.  I just do it and never look back.  That’s how I met Jei-laya. My husband and I were busily cooking up and serving apps for a fundraiser...
Remember Me

Remember Me

How will my sons remember me?  Will they remember when I was at home, at their school, on stage, a certain role in a movie or maybe screaming like a crazed lunatic at someone that (I felt) might do them harm? I know how I remember my mom.  And no, she’s not gone.  She’s alive...
No Shame

No Shame

  I was having a REALLY bad day.  I was tired, beyond tired.  Those days are rare, so when they are, they are.  I wagged my finger, cocked my head and swore to a good friend, “The next person to ask me for something, I’m saying no.  I don’t care what it is, I swear,...
I'm Tired.

I’m Tired.

So every night, around 9:00, or as I like to call it, two drinks in, I NEED to write.  Some nights I have something extremely important to write about, some nights, not so much.  Tonight, I have so much on my mind that I’m lost trying to sort it all out. We’re busy, always, who...
Saying Goodbye... Again.

Saying Goodbye… Again.

My Dad died yesterday.  We hadn’t spoken in many, many years – maybe twice in the last 20.  When my sister called to tell me he probably wouldn’t make it through the night I told her to tell him that I loved him.  She asked if I would tell him myself, over the phone. I...