ma2Be sure that I love my Mama.

I am searching for my birth family NOT because I am lacking anything in regards to the family who chose to raise me, but because I choose to seek the total truth. That is who I am. You can agree or disagree, but that is who I am.

I was raised by a Saint – Big words, no joke.

Jane Gail Moreshead O’Connor McDougall is the single most – beyond refute, kindest, forgiving and loving person I have ever met. I still don’t believe she is real. So real, she was able to raise a rogue like me.

I have a tendency to be reactive, aggressive, hostile, hateful, unforgiving, unmoving…

She showed me what compassion, empathy, forgiveness and faith could do.

Argue genetics versus environment with me and I will throw you some hard truths. I was born unlike my ‘non-birth’ mother. She adopted me, loved me and took what very well could have been a complete disaster and showed me how to be the person I am finally proud to be.

Make no mistake – the genetics are still in tact. I still want to rip the heads off of people I find judgmental, repulsive, racist and small minded. I still have nervous breakdowns in overwhelmingly adultish meetings, throwing myself on the floor, fists and curse words a’flying. I still find confrontation exhilarating when necessary. But, because of my mom, I have kept that in check, not completely, but WAY more than I can possibly imagine if someone with the same DNA had raised me.

I am grateful for where I started. And, to cut to the chase, that I had a chance to start at all. I am grateful for where I ended up. I am grateful for the people I have met while searching for total truth and I am grateful for the friends and family who have backed me all the way.

Being alive is great. I was given a chance to be here and then given the guidance to do it right. What a gift I was given.

Happy Mother’s Day to a woman, beyond reproach, who deserves the sun and the moon but would never dream of asking for them. You are the hope I have for what humanity should always be. It is my honor to have been placed in your heart. You will always be mine.