13403223_10153683909514607_141652347426876070_oI hated kids – when I was one. I never babysat, because they hated me back. I had no idea that they would save me one day… but they did.

I’m struggling with today. I am struggling to admit that I’m human, much less American, Midwestern, Pennsylvanian…

It’s never made any difference to me AT ALL where I was from. I was born on this planet and I’ve always felt connected to everyone – EVERYONE on this planet, no matter where they were born or currently resided.

I feel weird. I always have. Believe me or not, I can often feel what you’re feeling. Sometimes I don’t even want to, but I can. It’s why I love people entirely. It’s why I sometimes feel so connected and completely invested, immediately upon meeting someone.

So many of us are hurting for the ‘todays’. Those of us who aren’t should check for a pulse.

I have one escape from constantly ‘live streaming’ the hurt that has permeated the world around me:

Art.

I can go out to my studio, pull out my easel, and paint.

I can grab my camera and catch the life, energy and passion that still exists in the people around me.

I can buy a dollar bag of shells at a yard sale and hot glue them to thrift shop bikinis, creating the costumes from my dreams.

While I am doing these things I think of nothing else. I found Utopia. Why shouldn’t everyone else?

I have never been a religious person. I simply followed the golden rule. But I always envied people who felt they were ‘called’ to something. I had never truly been ‘called’ to anything in particular. My attention span has been one of a 3yr. old (since birth) and I found myself constantly flitting from one desire to the next, consequences be damned.

But, miracle of crazy miracles, I finally got the call! Strange since I NEVER pick up my cell phone or even have my ringer on.

Never did theatre. Was convinced to try it at 40. I had kids! Never thought I would, but there they were. They had special needs so I started a theatre camp to ‘include’ them in activities. That changed my world, my mind, my heart and my direction – forever.

My community needs the arts. The arts start with the kids. They’ve been cut, pushed aside, put on the back burner and belittled more than I can tolerate as a human on the planet.

I am going to change things.

I am going to open a Center for the Arts

I feel like it’s what I was called to do.

I’ve never felt so strongly about why I ended up somewhere. I’ve ended up in so many places. My gypsy heart never allowed itself to settle down, until now.

I asked the bank today what I’m worth. What will they lend me to create a place that we can call Utopia: to escape, believe, rejuvenate, celebrate, find our own children along with the children still alive and kicking within ourselves…

I’m on a quest.

I need this. We all do.

I’ve been called.