IMG_1720My boys are in 4th and 5th grade. They had a dance tonight. I thought nothing much of it except to wonder if they’d let me take pictures (since I had to be there with Dane anyway). I mean, of course I would be there, Dane’s nine, in a wheelchair and his home health aide goes home at five.

When loading up the boys for the dance I was informed that Dane had made a decision. He wanted to be ‘independent’. No chaperone cramping his style anymore.

I smiled thinking “Well of course”. This is exactly what we expect and hope for with Dane. I have repeatedly claimed that I worry more about my son Jett than my son Dane when it comes to social situations. Why would it be any different now?


I rolled up to the school at 5:55. The children were swarming. SWARMING.

Parents were simply dropping kids off and driving away. Driving away! How the hell do they know their kid even went into the dance, that someone acknowledged their existence, knew who they belonged to…???

I guess having a child in a wheelchair, with a full time aide, had lulled me into a false sense of security – comfortable in a land where Dane never goes ‘unwatched’. Over the years he’s had more overseers than the President of the United States.

Looking around, it hit me like a freight train.

The teachers and volunteers were already overwhelmed. How could I just drop off a kid who literally can’t propel his own wheelchair???

“Here you go. Here’s Mr. Independent. Be back in two hours. Good luck!”

In truth I stumbled to find the right words while babbling at Dane’s amazing principal. “I don’t want to just dump him off. Jett, can you please look out for him? Should I wait in the hall? I could sit in the parking lot…”

Mr. Maidens leaned into Dane and said, “Do you want your Mom hanging around all night?”

Dane giggled, “No. I want to be independent.”

Just then an adorable little girl squealed, “Dane! You’re here!”

The principal smiled and asked, “Would you please take Dane down to the cafeteria?”

She happily agreed and off they went.

“Go home Mom.” Mr Maidens smiled.

So I did…


PS – Just picked them up. They both had a great time. My little Mr. & Mr. Independent. Every day is an adventure. <3