Legs-2146I ask a lot of everyone.  OK, I demand a lot of everyone.  It’s not because I demand that I’m always right (anymore), but because I swear, SWEAR, I simply want to drag the people I adore, some of who I haven’t even met yet, into my world of ‘Holy Crap!  This is awesome!’ even if it’s kicking and screaming…

I don’t fear much these days.  I used to fear failure.  Now that I know my husband and family are behind me, how can I fail?  Worst-case scenario – something might not be perfect, at first. But the brain trust I am lovingly surrounded by will help me figure it out and rectify the situation, tout suite!

I have been shooting and booking boudoir and themed sessions like crazy!  LIKE CRAZY!  Can you believe it???  I can’t.  I knew it was a stretch.  I knew that in a small town the idea of baring your butt, or slightly twisted soul, to someone who styles and high profiles quite frequently on Facebook, might not appeal to the sensibility of the masses.

And truth be told, it hasn’t.  But whom it has appealed to are the people I’ve always ached to be around anyway.  Some are people who would have NEVER struck me as the type to trust their most intimate moments and worst insecurities to a hyper active, unpredictable, animated weirdo like me.  But here they are stepping up and taking a risk.  Comfort levels are being pushed.  Boundaries have been breached.  I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone is like me.  Not everyone is willing to stick their bra in someone’s face and say, “Feel them!  It’s just a wonder bra/water bra/miracle bra…” (Insert whichever, because yes, I’ve tried them all.)

My physical reality has always been an open book, no matter how insecure and underdeveloped I was.  I am relishing in the fact that others have put their personal insecurities on the line and allowed me to become a part of their perfectly imperfect worlds as well.

My clients/friends and I chat up a storm while we’re shooting.  I get to know so much about so many.  It’s exhilarating.  I come home bubbling over with the energy of others coupled with the hyper energy I seem to have harnessed somewhere close to birth and managed to keep through adulthood.

I’m not a psychiatrist.  I’m allowed to spill my own beans, and do, on a regular basis.  Every time I divulge a bit of personal insecurity I gain a pound of confidence.

Thank you is what I am trying to say.  Thank you to everyone who has trusted me with a secret or insecurity, and still went into a shoot even though they felt vulnerable and uneasy.  Thank you to the film folks who have dove off cliffs for me, taken a dunk in a dirty river, or have had to hold their breath in a dirty, confined, freezing cold springhouse…

I am who I am today because of the trust you have in me, the vision you share with me, and the boundaries you continue to allow me to push.  I promise that I will continue to push, create, shoot, film and see a million ways for all of us to be awesome, because I am constantly surrounded by people who can’t help but be.